Chapter 24

Chapter 24

She had him drive back to Crater Park. Everyone else had gone home by now except for maintenance workers and security guards patrolling the carnival area. No one questioned them as they went back to the stage.

The crew had yet to take down the set; Ron’s Café remained unchanged from when the old man had keeled over. “What are we doing here?” Frank asked. He couldn’t imagine why she would want to come back here after everything that had happened.

“Would you mind sitting over there. Where you sat before?”

“Anna—”

“Please, Frank. Just sit there.” He sat down and waited to see what she would do. She climbed onto the stage and stood in the exact spot as she had when the firecrackers went off.

Then she performed the second half of the play. Not just her character, but every part. She asked him once to make a sound like glass shattering and another time to clap his hands together for a gunshot. The rest of the time he stared at her in wonder. For each character she used a different voice, different gestures, and different facial expressions.

Then she stopped before Ron and Elsie kissed in the empty bar. “Frank, could you come up here?”

“I’m not much of an actor.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She took his hand and led him to the bar. “Ron, I’ve tried to fight what I’ve felt for you, but I can’t do it any longer. I love you and I never stopped.”

Before he could ask about his line, she leaned forward and kissed him. The last time she kissed him paled by comparison to the way she did so now. So forceful and yet with a lover’s tenderness. This was not the kiss of a naïve young girl. Against such power he couldn’t stop from returning her kiss, trying in vain to match her intensity. He lost track of how long they stood there; it seemed to last forever.

Then she pulled away and said, “You can sit down again.” He did as she commanded without saying anything. After he sat down, she finished the play with the final parting of Ron and Elsie as she left Casa Verde with Victor to the relative safety of the southern hemisphere.

She bowed her head and stood there in the center of the stage. He stood up, but didn’t know if he should applaud or respect the beauty of the moment. When she sat down at one of the tables, he took it as a sign to join her. He took out a cigarette and offered one to her. She accepted it and then looked out at the nonexistent audience.

“This was supposed to be my big break,” she said.

“You’ll get another chance. After your friend gets well.”

“It’s over. Henry and I. There’s not going to be a touring company or another play. We’re finished.”

“How can you say that? The man just had a heart attack.”

“He lied to me. For years he lied to me. Just like Mom.”

“Maybe he had a good reason.”

“I’m sure Mom had a good reason too.”

“Is this about the notebook? What she said in there was probably just a reaction from stress. She didn’t mean it.”

“Maybe.” Anna blew a puff of smoke from her mouth.

“Come on, let’s go home. Get some rest and tomorrow you’ll feel better about everything.”

“I’m not going home.”

“We can go back to the hospital. Wherever you want.”

She turned to him with tears in her eyes. “Take me with you, Frank. Take me back to Los Angeles with you. I would only have to stay with you for a little while. Until I find work.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t have any furniture.” He thought of his apartment in Los Angeles and tried to imagine the two of them living there. He had never brought anyone back there. For so long he had thought of it as only a rest stop until his next trip. Other than a full-size mattress and springs with no frame he had no furniture. Just the light table and filing cabinets for managing his film. How would two people live there?

“It wouldn’t have to be forever. Only until I get on my feet. Unless—”

“Unless what?”

“Unless you don’t want me to go.” She threw her cigarette to the ground and took his hand. “I love you, Frank. I want you to know that.”

Love? Frank had not heard that word said to him in over ten years. Other women had said they cared about him or they would miss him or they would treasure their time together. None had ever said they loved him. He didn’t think he would never hear anyone say that to him again. He had thought himself too old and worn for anyone to love.

He looked across the table at her and tried to think of something to say. It was impossible. She was still a girl with a silly girlish crush on the mysterious stranger. If he took her to Los Angeles she would find someone else. Someone younger and more handsome. Like Tracy had. She’d turn her crush on someone else and he would be alone again.

How could it work between them? He had dated her mother for Christ’s sake! Not only was he old enough to be her father, by all rights he should have been her father. If he and Vera had not broken up that night at Acadia or if she had found him in Los Angeles, then he would have been Anna’s father.

No, that wasn’t true. He and Vera might have had a child together, but it would not have been the Anna sitting across the table from him. Their child could never have played Elsie so convincingly. Their child would never have understood that kind of pain and sadness. The kind of loneliness created by the loss of someone you loved.

He thought back to Anna’s performance of Casa Verde and made his decision. He could not let that woman go no matter her age. It wouldn’t matter if she was a hundred years old; this woman before him understood what he had carried with him all these years. How could he let her go now?

He had let Vera go and he had not put up a fight when Tracy left. This time he wouldn’t give up. Maybe the odds were against them, but he didn’t care anymore. He would never get this chance again. Vera’s death had laid this gift at his feet; to let Anna go now would be like losing Vera again.

“I love you too.”

“Frank, let’s go. Tonight. We’ll leave town and never come back. We’ll start a new life together.”

“Tonight? Tomorrow is the ceremony for your mother.”

“I know, but what difference does it make if we’re there or not? We’ll just miss a few boring speeches and the unveiling of some statue. We can come back anytime and see it.”

“I know, but this is something I have to do. I owe it to your mom.” When she frowned, he leaned across the table to kiss her. For the first time he kissed her instead of her taking him by surprise. It felt like he had crossed some kind of barrier with that move. There was no going back now and pretending they were just friends. “Come on, what’s the rush? We can go tomorrow morning. There’s plenty of time.”

“The rest of our lives.”

“Exactly.”

“Wait here a second.” She went offstage for a moment and returned with a suitcase so old and battered it looked as if her ancestors had carried it across the Atlantic.

“Planning on taking a trip?”

“I was going to stay over at Henry’s for a little while. I guess now I have somewhere even better to go.”

“Let me get that for you.” He took the suitcase and smiled. “You travel pretty light. A woman after my own heart.”

He took her hand and led her back to the car. He couldn’t resist one more kiss before opening the door for her. She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. “I love you,” she said again. The more she said that word, the younger he felt. To think of all the years he’d wasted alone.

In the car he thought about tomorrow. They had so much to do before they could leave. “What about your aunt? What are you going to tell her?”

“The truth. It’s not up to her anymore.”

“If there’s anything you need from there, I have plenty of room in the trunk.”

“I already have everything I need.”

“Me too.”

He pulled into the parking lot of the Rio Rancho and briefly considered scooping her up and carrying her through the front door like a new bride. He settled for holding the door open and ushering her inside. This was the last night he’d spend in this grungy motel room. Maybe after tonight he would spend less time in motels and more time at home now that he had someone waiting for him at home.

They both looked at the bed at the same time. “The chair is more comfortable than it looks,” he said. He didn’t want to rush her into anything. And he didn’t know if he was ready to go that far yet.

He hadn’t made love to a woman in five years. She had been a stewardess in Omaha. A beautiful Asian woman; he couldn’t remember her name, but he remembered everything else. She had fallen asleep before he finished. When he offered the next morning, she said she had an early flight to catch.

After everything that had happened, he didn’t want to mess things up with Anna by not performing to her satisfaction. He looked over at her and saw the nervousness on her face. How many men had she slept with? Someone so beautiful couldn’t possibly be a virgin. Could she?

She turned to him and squeezed his hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just not sure this is the right time.”

“I know what you mean.”

“But we don’t have to do anything. Unless you want to.”

“No, I’m fine. We can give it a try. If it doesn’t work, there’s always the chair.”

She spun around and motioned to the zipper of her dress. “Would you mind?” He pulled down the zipper with a trembling hand and watched the dress fall to the floor. Underneath she wore cotton panties and a white bra. Nothing deliberately sexy, but when she turned to face him, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

After he turned out the light, he guided her onto the mattress. They both thrashed around underneath the blankets until they found comfortable position facing each other. He studied the way a lock of dark hair fell across her face to touch the pillow. He considered brushing it behind her ear, but couldn’t will his hand to move. Savor the moment, he told himself. Who knew when it would happen again.

“I guess we should get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow,” he whispered.

“We should get some sleep.” She smiled and traced around his eyes with one finger. “Close your eyes.”

“You first.”

They rolled towards each other at the same time and met in the center of the bed. Their lips touched and the next thing Frank knew, he was reaching around her back to take off the bra. Her hand went down to the waistband of his boxers. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him there; the Asian stewardess in Omaha had let him do all the work.

This time when he finished, Anna lay beside him with tears staining her pillow. He finally reached over to brush the stray tress back into place. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m just so happy. For both of us.”

“Me too.” He fell asleep with her head pressed against his chest. Why couldn’t this moment last forever?