Chapter 18
Anna knocked on Frank’s door and waited for at least two minutes before trying again. She searched the parking lot for his rental car, but couldn’t find it anywhere. He must have gone out for the day.
She fingered the Do Not Disturb sign hanging from the knob and wondered where he had gone. Maybe to the festival, but that didn’t seem like somewhere Frank would go on his own. He could have gone to Mom’s park or the shop, but she wouldn’t follow him there. If she left the bundle of clothes on the doorstep she doubted anyone would steal them.
“Can I help you?” a man’s voice asked from behind her.
She recognized JJ from that pink cowboy hat he always wore, though she didn’t understand why he insisted on something so tacky. It could be some kind of good luck charm or a gift from one of his old boyfriends. While she considered herself open-minded, Aunt Esther had wanted to run him out of town the moment he showed up in Little Mesa. “I was just looking for Frank,” she said. “I wanted to give him something.”
“I’m sure you do. He left this morning.”
“Did he say when he’d come back?”
“Nope. Would you like me to give those to him when he comes back?”
“I’d rather do it in person. I had some other things to talk to him about.”
“I’ll let him know you stopped by. Or you could wait in the office. Keep me company for a while. It gets so boring during this time of day. Too early for people to check out and too late for people checking in.”
“Sure, I can stay with you for a little bit.”
She followed him back to the office and sat on a ratty couch held together with duct tape. JJ had a Mexican soap opera on the television. She had forced herself to speak almost fluent Spanish when she read in Ingrid Bergman’s biography how many languages she had spoken in her career. If Ingrid could work in Swedish, English, German, and Italian, certainly Anna could learn to work in Spanish and English.
“I don’t know a word they’re saying, but just look at them.” JJ motioned to a man with bulky muscles covered in sweat. “Wow. I’d like to give him some room service.”
If only the man could act as well as he looked. He uttered every line as if reading the newspaper. The woman in the scene wasn’t much better; every gesture and line was delivered with over-the-top melodrama. How could these people call themselves professional actors? How could anyone watch this garbage?
She yawned and stretched out on the couch, trying in vain to tune out the terrible dialogue as the man spouted romantic clichés and the woman professed her undying love. She wondered if any of that would work on Frank. Probably not. He was too sophisticated. Maybe not as handsome as the soap opera star on TV, but he had those rugged good looks and the brains and heart to go with them. An all-around better catch.
“Late night?” JJ said.
“A little bit.”
“With Frank?”
“Frank’s just a friend.” For now, she added to herself.
“You can’t fool me, young lady. He’s like a gruff little teddy bear. I just want to put my arms around him and squeeze him silly.”
She didn’t want to discuss her feelings for Frank and certainly not with a man. “He’s very nice.”
“A little too old for someone your age though.”
“What difference should age make?”
“Please, by the time he’s seventy you’ll still be in your forties. He’ll be dead before you hit fifty.”
“That’s not for a long time.”
“Aren’t you quite the optimist. I can only imagine what your mother would think.”
“You didn’t even know my mother.”
“Touche.” JJ sighed in a way that reminded Anna of the Mexican soap opera actress. As an actor he wasn’t much better than either of them. “You should be careful is all I’m trying to say. He came all the way here for her.”
She stood and picked up the bundle of clothes from the floor. “I think I’ll wait outside if you don’t mind.”
“Be my guest. Just remember what I said.”
She waited on the curb in front of Frank’s door until the sun began to go down. She knew all the arguments for why she shouldn’t care about Frank, but none of them mattered. So he was older than her and he had loved her mother? What she felt for him mattered more than age or his past. She had never met anyone so kind, intelligent, and handsome as Frank and she would be damned if she’d surrender because of her age.
Headlights shone in her eyes and after she blinked her vision clear she saw Frank getting out of his car. “Anna, what are you doing here?” he asked. He had a strange smell on his clothes as he approached. Like manure.
“I wanted to return these. And to thank you for being so nice last night.”
“It’s no problem.”
“Can I come inside?”
“Sure.” As she waited for him to unlock the door she turned towards the front office and imagined JJ standing at the window, watching them. She resisted the childish urge to stick out her tongue at him. She gave the clothes back to him and he tossed them on the bathroom floor. “Is there something else you wanted to say?”
“Tomorrow night is my play at
“I should be able to make it. What time does it start?”
“Eight o’clock. We’ll wrap up just before the big fireworks show.”
“Sounds like fun.”
Anna walked around the room as she thought of how to phrase her next question. “Frank, do you think we should talk about last night? About what happened at
“What’s to talk about?”
“I wanted you to know I didn’t do it on purpose. To seduce you or anything. It was just a spur of the moment thing.”
“I understand. These things happen. Especially when you’re young.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing. I only meant—”
“I know what you meant. You think I’m just some silly girl with a crush. I’ve kissed more than my share of boys.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything. I’m just a little tired from walking around that emu farm.”
“Emu farm? What were you doing out there?” That at least explained the manure smell she’d detected on his clothes and why he had been gone all day.
“It’s a long story. Do you remember your mother ever going there? Did she take you there for a visit or anything?”
“Not that I remember. I went there in first grade on a field trip. They were so friendly and soft, though kind of smelly. I asked Mom if I could get one for a pet.” He only nodded and sat down on the bed to light a cigarette in response. “Frank, is there something you’re not telling me about Mom?”
“I don’t know yet. There are some pieces that don’t quite add up. I’m not sure what to make of it.”
She sat down on the bed next to him and put a hand on his knee. He flinched a little but didn’t move away. “What is it? I don’t care what it is, Frank, I want to know.”
He told her about Mom ordering everything at Zeke’s and then giving it away; about racing Rusty Wheeler outside town; and about stealing Spunky the emu from the ranch. The more Anna heard, the colder the lump in her stomach became. Mom had always preached to her about responsibility and not being selfish, and yet she’d gone and committed these reckless acts. How could she do such things? “Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?”
“You were just a little kid at the time. They probably didn’t want to worry you. No one seems to think it was a big deal anyway. Her way of celebrating life.”
Anna didn’t know what to say. None of what Frank said seemed to fit with what she knew about Mom. It sounded like behavior better suited to a schizophrenic. Someone crazy. No wonder everyone had given Anna such odd looks this morning. Like mother like daughter they must have thought.
“Are you all right?” Frank asked. He put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze with the roughness of a father or a best friend instead of a lover’s tenderness.
“I’m fine. It’s just amazing how little I knew about my own mother until you showed up. Thank you Frank.”
“It’s not all bad news. Your mother was the most responsible and decent person I ever knew. We can’t forget that because of a few lapses.”
“I guess not.”
Frank stood up and went over to the desk. He picked up the notebook she had used earlier to write him a note and handed it to her. “This is your mother’s journal. I swiped it from Mrs. McAllister’s when she wasn’t looking.”
“Mom had a journal? Am I in it?”
“I’m not sure. I only got a little bit through it. You should have it though. She was your mother.”
Anna took the notebook and skimmed over the first page. Mom had written this before Anna was even born. She sounded so young and happy in that first entry. So free, like Anna hoped to be after the play when she left Little Mesa. “Thank you Frank. This means so much to me.” Before he could react, she kissed him on the cheek. “You will come to the play tomorrow, won’t you?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for all the world.” She smiled and bounded out the door with the journal clutched against her chest. Mom’s journal. Her inner-most thoughts. Now she would know the truth.
She went straight home and looked around for Aunt Esther. She heard the microwave beep in the kitchen and seized the moment to slip upstairs. After locking the door she laid down to read what Mom had written.
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